Girl, I'm in love with you
This ain't the honeymoon
Passed the infatuation phase
Right in the thick of love
At times we get sick of love
Seems like we argue everyday
The world kept moving...but her world stop moving a long time ago the moment things went up in flames;they were at the point where everything they worked so hard for was put to the test and failed. She didn't feel anything, was she suppose to feel something when it happened? The words replayed in her head over and over again like an old movie, she couldn't forget the look on her face...that pained look that she was given before she left. A look that haunts her every dream at night, it wasn't suppose to turn out this way; it was suppose to be completely different but she screwed up big time. This was something that she couldn't fix and sometimes...you have to know when some things can't be fixed no matter how hard one tries to fix it. You can't just drop a glass on the floor, say sorry and it'll go back to how it was before; the shattered glass remains as shattered glass until someone comes along and rebuilds that same glass again but they make it stronger when you made it crumble and shatter to pieces. It felt so weird to her, but then again it was for the best no? A chance to work on herself and better herself right? A chance to...make things right again but how? How can you just forget about someone just like that? How can you just turn off your feelings for someone you loved so much? Above all....how could you be friends with someone you once fell in love with?
It felt like months but...its only been....maybe a couple of months....maybe a year or so since she last seen or heard of her and to think that she would completely forgotten about her in that time span she didn't. You can't just forget about someone that was constantly on your mind day in and day night, that same person that haunts your dreams every night while you sleep soundly in your beds....you just don't forget about them period! Yet, it was a chance the she had forgotten about her which was fine, she was someone that people forgot about after all right? Someone who stood in the shadows of the world, didn't really put herself out there, she didn't risk the public's eye on her or anything but she did risk that at one point before. Everyone knew her face and her name then...and all because she was trying to protect a human, thinking about it now made her wonder....if the roles were reversed....would it have ended up this way? Or would it have ended differently for the two of them, maybe but...life didn't come with do - overs and she had to live with the fact of what she had done to her that day that changed everything. She will never forget that day, its been stitched into her head...the plate shattering...eyes glaring at the other...nothing but pure rage and anger took over her that day. It was suppose to be a simple talk nothing more, but it didn't turn out that way in the end now did it...?
I know I misbehaved and you made your mistakes
And we both still got room left to grow
And though love sometimes hurts
I still put you first
And we'll make this thing work but I think maybe we should take it slow
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
'Cause we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow
Take it slow, ohh
This time we'll take it slow
Take it slow, ohh
This time we'll take it slow
She spent the rest of her days, doing missions and taking care of herself and Rocky; hell she barely had any friends let alone anyone that she knew who's house she could go over. After each and every mission, she came to a silent home, sometimes it would remain dark even when she came in and cold despite not turning on the heater before she left the house or anything. She wasn't all that eager nor excited to get home...why should she? She didn't have anyone at her apartment waiting for her arrival....not anymore anyway for that matter. She got herself involved in more drugs than she use to, she even started to drink heavily than what she normally did. Who would have thought that a single person could have such an impact on someone that their whole personality changed because of something that happened between them? Royal didn't know that her personality was changing for the worse, she really didn't pay no attention to it, all her focus was on doing her missions and coming home, getting drunk and passing out on the couch watching tv until the next day to start the next day. Its her fault. Its always her fault. She always did something wrong and...poof. Its gone in a blink of an eye just like that. Maybe she likes to torture herself by doing this or maybe....sometimes she lets her anger clouds her judgement at times and that tends to get her in trouble which it does but still. Music was blasting throughout her little studio apartment she was staying in, thank god she didn't have neighbors or anything because she was pretty sure that they would be banging on her door by now, asking her to turn down the music.
She could still remember just about everything...from the time they met up till now; its funny really, she didn't expect any of this to happy but she was glad that it did. She was happy that she fell in love with her...but she let her get away from her instead of fighting for her. Royal had a problem, a problem that a lot of people told her over and over again but she never just see it like others did and it was because of her problem that the one she loved got away. She got up from the sofa and went into her little kitchen area and opened the fridge to look to see what she could eat on; she pulled out a pack of raw meat she had moved to the fridge to thaw out. She sat the pack on the counter and just stared at it for a moment, she then reached for a bowl from the cabinet and ripped open the raw meat, placing it in the bowl as she walked out the kitchen and back into the living room area, sitting back down on the couch and turning on the tv. Like always, it was dark in her house of course, but it was warm which was the only good thing out of it and all. One by one, she was popping the raw meat into her mouth, she didn't cook it or anything, she liked it that way really. While staring at the tv, her mind begin to go back in that dormant state again, go back to those thoughts that she was having before she was brought back into reality by hunger...
This ain't a movie love
No fairytale conclusion y'all
It gets more confusing everyday
Sometimes it's heaven sent
Then we head back to hell again
We kiss then we make up on the way
I hang up, you call
We rise and we fall
And we feel like just walking away
As our love advances we take second chances
Though it's not a fantasy I still want you to stay
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
'Cause we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow
Take it slow, ohh
This time we'll take it slow
Take it slow, ohh
This time we'll take it slow
Memories of that time begin to come flowing back into her head again, memories that she considered too painful remember to her, memories that she wanted to bury somewhere in her mind and not think about them again but she couldn't, these were happy memories of what was suppose to be for them in the end. She remembered every little detail and all....the late and warm nights when they made love, the sheer lust and passion they shared and had for one another, the moans and whispers that were heard and said throughout the night. She could feel it all over again, bare skin against bare skin....soft lips against soft lips...bodies pressed against one another tightly in the heat of the moment...the sheets tangle between them, it felt like pure bliss and heaven just thinking about it but she didn't have that anymore, or rather she couldn't have such contact like that anymore. Just thinking about it anger her in some way....jealously maybe? It was possible that she was slowly becoming jealous; the mere thought of someone else touching her, whispering sweet things to her, making love to her and worse of all....marking her body, claiming her...that was something that Royal wouldn't stand by for. She may be a lot of things, sure she could be a jerk and asshole to many, but when it all came down to just her and her alone, she didn't like it when someone else touched her....together or not Call it denial but...she just didn't want anyone else touching her but her alone.
You could break her, stomp her, torture her, cuss her and do anything else to her but for the love of god....no one was allowed to touch her. By all means, if someone should touch her than they wouldn't live to see the raising sun in the morning sky ever again. Her mate mark was still present on her, by means the two were still mated in some way....the mark was still active and she could still sense the mark on her should someone get too close to her; although it gives off a scent to warn others that someone had claimed her already but that didn't mean nothing now at this point. She was snapped back into reality again when she heard her phone ringing on the side of her, ruby red eyes stared at the phone for a moment before she grabbed it and put it on silent, setting the phone back down and going back to watching tv again. It was nights like these where she was at most peace but...now here she was, sitting here alone with a bowl of raw meet and watching some action motion that she found on tv to look at until she passed out on the sofa again. She had wonder what was she doing now? Had ot be either working or dealing with Avery of course, one or the two....maybe she could have went out for a few drinks with friends, she didn't know, but she knew that she was safe wherever she was or what she was doing..
Take it slow
Maybe we'll live and learn
Maybe we'll crash and burn
Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave
maybe you'll return
Maybe another fight
Maybe we won't survive
But maybe we'll grow
We never know Maybe you and I
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
'Cause we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
'Cause we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow
Take it slow, ohh
This time we'll take it slow
Take it slow, ohh
This time we'll take it slow
Take it slow, slow
This time we'll take it slow
Take it slow, ohh
This time we'll take it slow
So much time has passed and yet she looked as if she hasn't aged in days but she has changed in some ways...appearance wise anyway. Royal had dyed her hair a jet black, her hair stopped just about in the center of her back since she had cut it a bit, her body was covered in more tattoos than what she was last seen with; she also had a huge gash that started from her stomach and up near her left breast...probably the only scar that she has on her body since. She still looked to be 19 though, she stopped aging at 19 of course but not many people knew that about her. All in all...Royal somewhat looked the same but not as much. Once done eating her raw meat, she thought for a moment, reaching over and picking up her phone seeing that she had a miss call, of course she did cause she didn't pick it up when they called her. She didn't feel like working tonight, her mind were on other things or rather they were currently thinking of a certain woman that she herself didn't know that she was thinking about. I mean...could you really blame her? She admitted to her wrong, she would do anything to make things right but...would it be enough was the question? Was it enough to make things right? To make things go back to the way they use to be before? No. There was no such thing, she did the unthinkable and when that happened, she knew from that moment that nothing would be the same between them from there on out. Still, it had to be some way to make it right....right? It just had to be some way to make things right but what...
Ruby red eyes shot over to a small, black box that was sitting on the table beside the sofa; for what seem like hours she stared at the small black box before she reached over slowly and grabbed it, holding the little black box in her hand. She played with it for a moment until she opened the little box she held in her hand, inside was a ring....a ring that she had bought as a surprise for her. Their one year anniversary was coming up and what better way to surprise your love one no? In fact...it was an engagement ring. Royal was going to propose to her on Christmas Eve but...things didn't turn out how she planned in the end so...it was another memory that was tossed down the drain. She closed the box and sat it back on the table beside the sofa; she doesn't know why she still holds on to it, but she wouldn't return it either, she couldn't bring herself to do it. She still wanted to give it to her...to show her how much she truly mean to her...because to Royal.....Trace was her entire world, and now that her world was gone, her world was nothing but pure black and darkness, it was almost like her other half was ripped out just as she ripped herself from Trace. Its...a really strange and weird love story, yet in the end....it didn't turn out to be a happily ever after....but one thing will be made clear and to her would always be made clear...
She still loved Trace.
Trace was still her world.
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