The Adventurer’s Cookbook: To Feed a Party

The Adventurer’s Cookbook: To Feed a Party

Upon opening the cooking lesson, via a magic scroll… An holographic projection of the pre-recorded lesson appears from the face of the parchment! Standing before a campfire was a little witch with blue hair, a massive hat and some big baggy robes that looked a size or two too big for her. Beside her was a much taller, be it an average height woman, but compared to the small witch, she was a foot and some change taller. The taller woman was also a witch, with a mage college uniform and crest present on her coat. She had long reddish pink locks and a hat with a crown of scrolls upon it. Both wore a big smile as the lesson began.

“Hi! I’m Morgan Rue! And this is my sister Serana! Today we are doing a project for her college cla-” The red haired witch, Serana cut off Morgan with a rude nudge of her hip, bumping the little one a bit. But she continued on. “Today we are learning how to cook at the campfire for efficiency and tastiness! To keep your spirits up, your mana ready and your belly full!” The little witch pulled up a large beef steak by the large bone that protruded out from the side of it. She’d pulled it from somewhere off shot from the projection… so it was hard to guess what was going to come next from this… “Basics” class. As amateur as it was, there was a bit of coin that seemed to go into the steak at least…

The little blue haired witch continued, holding the large steak with two hands on the bone… it was significant in size compared to her body… and so she began to talk with a strain in her

voice. “This big ole’ steak will feed one person a BIG meal! OR - It can feed a couple of people a small to medium sized meal! Remember- Portions are everything when you’re traveling with a party! Today we will learn how to feed both!” She smiled wide and focused on the  hot coals of the campfire. She took the steaks and placed them right on the coals…

To which the other witch just about had a heart attack. A large gasp escaped her lips “Morgan!! YOU’RE GETTING THE STEAK ALL DIRTY!! Use a…a pan or something?!” It was now clear the college witch was fronting the coin for this operation. But Morgan laughed at her sister Serana whom probably was watching a month’s worth of coin lay on a bed of coals. 

“Nonsense, dear sister! You won’t always have a spit, or a pan with you. For cookware can accumulate weight and take up space needed for other more important equipment! This is the most simplest way to cook your meat with no fancy shmancy pans or equipment! But, I recommend you take a small bottle or shaker of home spice! A blend of salt and peppercorn, along with other things like paprika or allspice! Which we’ve added to the beef for seasoning beforehand!” Morgan watched the meat sizzle with a big smile.. Serana was less comfortable even after the lecture.

“But when traveling in a group, it is more important to have SOME cookware available. A pot or pan is most recommended! As a spit can be made or composed of skewers, made of sticks found on your travels!” Little Morgan reached over to find her pan off screen once more, and brought it into the focus. Inside the cast iron skillet was cubed pieces of the same type of beef steak that was on the hot coals. “Me and my sister Serana have prepared this before as well! This is a second steak, the same cut as the last but cut into cubes to be shared between party members!” 


Serana was crying inside, but kept a smile and her composure… but pain could be seen in the windows of her soul. She spoke in a tone of voice that sounded robotic or not-so-well rehearsed. “But Morgan, I’m really hungry. I wear heavy armor, swing big swords and fight baddies all day…” An awkward pause was met as a hand with an iron warrior helmet was crudely placed atop the elder sister’s head. Morgan snickered before the helmet slowly slid off of Serana’s head and fell to the ground. 

“Not to worry, my Barbarian sister! For the portion of meat will not be -ALL- that we are eating! The term Meat and Potatoes, derives from the idea that one mixes meat, the main course with a filling consisting of something cheaper to expand our portions! Potatoes and Rice are both things fairly cheap and can be added to a meat to make potion sizes bigger. Keeping me and my Barbaric sister fed!” With that lecture, the pan of cubed steaks went onto the fire, and the first steak was flipped. A second pot was brought into scene by Serana and handed to Morgan. It appeared to be filled with a cloudy white water and promptly was placed on the hot white coals alongside the meat. 

“Serana.” Morgan spoke, again much like her sister did with a robotic and awkward tone… a fixed tone to assure the question was planned and so be it the answer. “Did you know that different meats take different cooking times and measures?”

 Serana looked dramatically and overly confused, staged in nature. “What do you mean, little sister?” She promptly replies with the same robotic tone and plastic face.

“Our beef has bacteria on the outside that is harmful to humanoids like us, certain races of elves, and half breed races. But not all races are affected by this bacteria. Dragon folk eat raw meat by nature, but not us! However, not all meats can be cooked the same! Bird meats must be cooked well done, along side pig meats. Bird meat carries Salmon-Nilla. Which sounds like a tasty fishy treat! But it’s not!” 

Serana cleared her throat. “Morgan…” She responded in a normal tone and not like the staged words before. “It’s salmonella. Not Salmon-nilla…” Her sister corrected before going back to smiling.

Morgan chose to not respond instead she spoke louder. “Oh boy! Look! Our first steak is done, and the cubes for the party are browning!” She gripped the first steak by the bone and placed it on a wooden plate that was readied before them. “You can eat this steak bloodied or well done as long as you cook the outside with fire!” She grins. “So you don’t have to worry about Salmon Vanilla!” 

The Recording seemed to cut after Serana face palmed hearing her little sister mispronounce the name of the bacteria once again. But when they returned the rice was cooked and the cubed meats were also done. Serana was scooping rice into the bowls as Morgan prepared the servings of cubed meat. “Rice is a good and cheap source of food you can get in abundance for very little coin! Adding small foraged items like wild veggies and fruits or even dried stuff crushed down can add flair and alter the taste of the dish completely! But be warned, it does require a pot at minimum and quite a bit of water!” 

Serana placed forth the bowl of rice and casted a mage light over it to make the dish sparkle some. Presentation was everything especially for the viewer to be entranced over something so simple.. And bland tasting.


Morgan chimed in. “Wow! Serana, you really packed on that rice! And there’s plenty more where that came from! As I know you're a hungry Barbarian sister of mine!” Morgan laughed some. “I can tell because you’re hip don’t lie! You sure like to eat!” 

Serana laughed nervously. “Okay Morgan, what do we do next?”

“I’m sure you’d like to start eating! Because that seems to be your favorite thing to do! Eat!” Morgan spoke as she readied the meat cubes. “You eat so much I don’t know if there’s gonna be any left for the rest of the party!” Morgan continued to patronize her sister.

“Morgan… that’s enough… What’s the next step in the-” Serana was cut off by Morgan.

“You eat so much! You eat when you’re studying, in your bed, while walking! Heck you probably eat on the toilet!” Morgan laughed. “And for a barbarian you’re gettin’ pretty flabby! No amazons are flabby like you! And-”

A loud thunk was heard as Serana threw the helmet from before at Morgan’s head, to which Morgan let out a crying screech… And the recording cut once more. But it returned! With Morgan and Serana both standing before a bowl of rice with beef cubes a top it with very little garnish. Morgan’s eyes were red and puffy from crying, and her hat was crooked some. Serana was beet red in the cheeks and her hair was kinda messy now. 

10040342501?profile=RESIZE_584xMorgan tried to speak but let out a broken noise that was about to lead her back into crying, so promptly Serana took over and even snatched the bowl from Morgan and stepped in front of her with a forced smile to give off pleasantries. “And there we have it folks! We make a huge steak for one and dinner that can feed a party all with the same cut! Thanks for tuning in and we will see you next time around the campfire! See ya!~”  With a fake charmed laugh the session ended and the scroll rolled itself back up.

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