Casey May Evlin's Posts (2)

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Trigger Warning: Rape and Sexual Assult

Casey did a lot of things she regretted to get food and money. Theft, obviously, and she wasn't great at not getting caught. She was just a ball of nerves, shaking and eyes darting around to make sure no one was watching, which only drew more attention to herself. She would still get away--far faster and stronger than your typical underfed young woman--but she would get yelled at and chased and grabbed at. You'd think after so many years she would have gotten better at it, but no. She hadn't.

Another was begging, which she rarely did. Talking to people was nerve wracking, asking them to be generous was even harder. Then there was digging food out of the dumpster. Though she had yet to get sick from it--shifter-enhanced immune system maybe?--she figured it was only a matter of time before that happened. And even if she didn't get sick, it made her feel awful. Like she was an animal, digging for scraps from the garbage. It was super great for her self-esteem when she already felt like a monster, an animal living in human skin, abandoned and unlovable.

However, the worst thing she did, was also the most dangerous. Selling herself, selling her body, being used for some man's pleasure then being discarded. Maybe not even sell herself really, but go to a bar, find a man, sleep with him, and rob him once he was done. She lost her virginity at 17 to a man who said he'd pay more if he would be the first to "make her bleed." She had done the deed, been paid rather well, but it made her sick with herself.

She could still remember the night vividly; he brought her to a hotel room, undressed her, made her shower before he would continue, set the money on the nightstand to taunt her, made her lay down on her stomach, put a condom on, "it's the numbing kind, you won't feel it, so you better be quiet," it didn't numb her, it hurt, but she was quiet, she didn't cry, she bit the sheets to keep quiet, he finished, laughed in a voice that would haunt her dreams, satisfied that he did what he wanted to do, threw her clothes at her and told her to take the money and leave, and she did. She made it just outside of the hotel before she vomited, before a sob was torn from her lungs and she cried. And she cried and she cried and a concerned woman ran up to her and asked what was wrong but she just cried and ran away and hid.

But she would do it again.

The second time was easier, the third was too. It got easier every time, and Casey started to put herself into a different headspace when it happened. Her face and body and voice would do what she was told, but her mind was elsewhere. She imagined herself laying in a meadow, picking at flower petals and listening to the birds sing. There were bugs pinching her skin, the ground was uncomfortable and moving, but that was nature. The beauty of the meadow came at the price of the pests inside it.

That's the only thing that got her through it, pretending she was somewhere else. She needed the money to get herself food, her shifter body burned more calories. And they liked it if they couldn't count her ribs. She thought that maybe...maybe this is what she should This'll be her job, this is how she'll make enough money to live on, to buy a car, to find a home. Maybe she could learn to enjoy it, maybe she could express what she wanted, be in control, at least a little bit.

But she wasn't going to be that lucky.

One night, when she was 20, she had lost count of how many times she had done this. What number she was on. If she gave them numbers, she would remember. No numbers, no way to know how many people there had been. But a man approached her, gave her cash up front, didn't make her clean, didn't even make her take all her clothes off. Because he did that for her. He grabbed her, hard. He pulled her hair, he ripped her shirt open, he bit her and he covered her mouth and she felt something sharp and cold against her neck. "So thin, light as a feather, you're so eas--" He didn't get to finish that sentence. Casey didn't know what he said next, but it was likely confused screaming.

Everything was a blur. She shifted, she thinks--must have. She was closer to the ground, on four legs, growling. She didn't know what she was, but a dark paw shot forward and swiped, claws tearing open the man's leg, and then he wouldn't stop screaming and she ran. Other people were screaming too, she heard it, but she didn't stop. Didn't look. Couldn't see anything but what was right in front of her. Away, she needed to get away, there were woods. She could smell them, a stream, she could hear it. Running water and shaking branches and falling leaves.

At some point, Casey must have passed out. She woke when it was sunny outside, but she felt so cold. Right, no clothes. Or money. Nothing. Looking down at herself, she was a fox once again. She must not have been one last night, though, her paws--hands--had been to big. And why was she so cold if she was a fox? She should be warm in nearly any weather with this fur coat. She was just...cold. And tired. And hungry.

That was the last time. She would never go down that road again. No matter how desperate, no matter how much she needed the money. No more prostituting herself for some quick cash. It wasn't worth it--no amount of money would bring that warmth back to her. Maybe time would. But for now, she only had her thoughts, only had her nightmares, only had the immediate reaction when a man touched her to hit them or run away. That last one would eventually fade the quickest, but her mind didn't want to let go. She tried returning to her meadow, but it smelled like him now, the air tasted bitter, it was always so dark.

And it was cold.

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Without a Jacket

It was January. A new year, filled with so many possibilities for everyone. New resolution, new plans, new adventures. For Casey, however, it was just cold. 

It had been four months now since Casey's 16th birthday, since her first change and her discovery of what she was. Since her abandonment by her parents who must be terrified of what she had turned out to be. Her pale face was dirty, with dark circles under her cool green eyes. A winter hat barely contained Casey's hair, keeping it out of the way. About a month ago she had cut it, making it far easier to manage but still a pain when she couldn't properly clean it. A light winter jacket was all she had to keep herself warm in the blistering winter, she hadn't been able to afford or steal anything heavier as she dragged her tennis shoes through the fresh snowfall on the sidewalk that had yet to be shoveled. 

Every part of her ached, she was exhausted and starving, but she had no where to go. She had no money to spend on food at the moment, so she'd have to go without eating for another day. As the sun started to set, even though it was only the evening, Casey decided she had walked enough for the day, and began looking for a place to sleep. Not that far ahead of her on the street was what looked like an apartment building in progress. Fences around the border of the property were easily scaled, and the plastic sheets protecting the openings on the outer walls was easy enough to tear through. Once inside, Casey found an area that was shielded from the wind and view from outside, and let herself sit down to rest. With her knees pulled up to her chest and her head resting on the plywood wall, Casey found herself asleep. 

It wasn't until Casey heard the loud voices of men that she woke up, sun light filling the surrounding area. She rose a hand to wipe the sleep from her eyes, only to realize that she had shifted once again in her sleep. A fox now laid tangled in her coat instead of a human girl, causing her to whine in frustration. 

"Hey, ya hear that?" Came a man's voice from somewhere nearby. There were a couple mumbled responses before foot steps started approaching Casey's hiding spot. Shit. Shit shit shit this was bad. Casey struggled to free herself of her jacket, ending up shuffling backwards to get out from the bottom opening. The foot steps were getting closer, following the noise of her struggle. She couldn't change back now! Her clothes were laying on the ground beside her, she needed to take them with her, she--!


Three men entered the room, all wearing large coats under yellow safety vests, helmets, and tool belts. Construction workers. The three of them stared at Casey, while she stared back. Slowly, one of the men smiled, crouching down. "Well look at that, a little fox." He said, his voice calm and friendly. He didn't perceive Casey as a threat, which was true, but Casey didn't know if she should be thankful or worried. One of the other men spoke up. 

"How the hell did that get in here? Should we call AC to get it out?" 

The third man eyes the full set of clothes Casey was standing beside. Her clothes. "What's with the coat and shoes?"


 The first man shushed his partners. "It just came in here to get out of the cold I bet, look at it, it's not gonna hurt anybody. Right, little fox?" Casey remained standing still, watching the men. The first man stood with a sigh, seeming disappointed that the fox gave him no respond. He turned to the two others. "Well, out of the doorway, it can't leave if we're blocking it in. Move your ass outa the way." The three men departed the room but still stood by the doorway, watching Casey, waiting to see if she'd actually leave. Should she? Were they just going to try and catch her as she left? What about her clothes? Unfortunately, it seemed like her clothes would need to be left behind, she didn't have a choice about that. 

The second of the three men spoke up again. "What, is it stupid or something? It should get the hell out before I make it." He and the third man laughed as the first glared at them. Taking the moment of distraction, Casey bolted. Fast and agile as the animal she was impersonating, she ran out the door and followed the men's snowy footprints outside. A section of the gate had been opened for a truck to be driven up, and Casey escaped through that gap. She didn't stop running until she was behind what she believed was a grocery store, panting in the alley as she came to a halt. 

Casey remained there for the rest of the day, eating food that had fallen out of the dumpster. Looks like they had been throwing out a lot of their bakery goods, so she was able to eat some cold and stale but thankfully not moldy bread rolls and muffins. And surprisingly, Casey found herself rather comfortable in the cold weather. She still felt cold, but too a much lesser degree, to the point where it was more than tolerable. Like taking a cold shower, it was refreshing. Gods, when was the last time she had gotten to take any kind of shower?


Looking down at her own paws, leaving little foot prints in the snow, maybe Casey could...stay like this for a little while. No jacket, no hat, but soft fur and easy running. It wasn't ideal, but honestly, Casey would take any form of comfort right now. And if she needed to stay as a fox to do so, to stay warm enough to not be in pain, to be able to more easily find a place to sleep and hide, so be it. She'd stay like this.

At least until she found some new clothes. 

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