Bucky didn’t leave the kitchen when the others did. Instead he grabbed a beer and sat back. Down at the kitchen table.. he sighed a bit and ran a hand through his shaggy hair. He definitely had a lot to think about now… he had hated the metal arm for so long.. he wished there could jsut be someway he could just have his actual arm back… he often wondered what his life would have looked. Like if he hadn’t ever been caught by hydra…
meanwhile Anna had stepped outside to get some fresh air, she on the patio that the team used most and just.. sat.. she isn’t make a sound,didnt do anything. Just sat and thoguht to herself,she hadnt ver mentioned so much about herself before ot anyone on the team. Not even to those she was fond of… she was beginning to think she had stared going soft… she sighed ot herself a sshe sat there, wrapping ehr cardigan aorund ehr as she looked at the sky.
Bucky didn’t leave the kitchen when the others did. Instead he grabbed a beer and sat back. Down at the kitchen table.. he sighed a bit and ran a hand through his shaggy hair. He definitely had a lot to think about now… he had hated the metal arm for so long.. he wished there could jsut be someway he could just have his actual arm back… he often wondered what his life would have looked. Like if he hadn’t ever been caught by hydra…
meanwhile Anna had stepped outside to get some fresh air, she on the patio that the team used most and just.. sat.. she isn’t make a sound,didnt do anything. Just sat and thoguht to herself,she hadnt ver mentioned so much about herself before ot anyone on the team. Not even to those she was fond of… she was beginning to think she had stared going soft… she sighed ot herself a sshe sat there, wrapping ehr cardigan aorund ehr as she looked at the sky.
(Idk what to do for Steve sorry)
Kara was working on cleaning up the kitchen once the food was put away and dishes were washed, she was drying them and doing general tidying up when she realized Bucky was still in the kitchen. She saw his bottle of beer was empty and grabbed another one, cracking the lid off as she put it in front of him. "You're thinking about your arm aren't you" she assumed. "Look I get it reminds you of what Hydra did. I can't begin to understand what they put you through, manipulation and brainwashing are similar but different, and you're not that person anymore. Sometimes even though we're given a horrible past, it's the path we've been given, and we need to somehow find a way to move on from that. Having a metal arm may not be ideal to you, but as a fighter, it could. Even if you change it to something else so you don't have what hydra made you" she offered in suggestion as she took his empty beer bottle and discarded it.
(Idk what to do for Steve sorry)
Kara was working on cleaning up the kitchen once the food was put away and dishes were washed, she was drying them and doing general tidying up when she realized Bucky was still in the kitchen. She saw his bottle of beer was empty and grabbed another one, cracking the lid off as she put it in front of him. "You're thinking about your arm aren't you" she assumed. "Look I get it reminds you of what Hydra did. I can't begin to understand what they put you through, manipulation and brainwashing are similar but different, and you're not that person anymore. Sometimes even though we're given a horrible past, it's the path we've been given, and we need to somehow find a way to move on from that. Having a metal arm may not be ideal to you, but as a fighter, it could. Even if you change it to something else so you don't have what hydra made you" she offered in suggestion as she took his empty beer bottle and discarded it.
(All god you can do a skip in your next reply if you want)
bucky didn’t say a word other than ‘thanks’ when Kara switched his empty beer to a new one… she had a point.. but in his messed up mind.. point or not.. he was still… stewing in his thoughts. ‘’They didn't just brain wash and manipulate.. they took actual memories form me… ones im not gonna get back… ‘’ he said gently ‘’Cant remember what my mothers face looked like.. can't remember my school days.. teen years.. I hardly remember my army days.. ‘’ he explained gently and sighed ‘’Im often left wondering about the ‘what ifs’.. what if i didn’t join the army.. what if i hadnt of fallen that night.. what if hydra hadnt gotten to me…the wht ifs haunt me day and night..’’ he said and sighed hevaily. ‘’And at this point im not even sure if wanting to chnage the arm is becaus eof the hydra connection.. or if because i want to feel some resemblance of normalcy again.. look like a normal perosn if and when i got out onto the streets, the arm makes it ahrd to not be noticed.. pointed at.. scared of because they all know what this arm means and who i am’’ he said gently…bucky felt.. stuck.. in this never ending loop and frankly h was sick of it..
(All god you can do a skip in your next reply if you want)
bucky didn’t say a word other than ‘thanks’ when Kara switched his empty beer to a new one… she had a point.. but in his messed up mind.. point or not.. he was still… stewing in his thoughts. ‘’They didn't just brain wash and manipulate.. they took actual memories form me… ones im not gonna get back… ‘’ he said gently ‘’Cant remember what my mothers face looked like.. can't remember my school days.. teen years.. I hardly remember my army days.. ‘’ he explained gently and sighed ‘’Im often left wondering about the ‘what ifs’.. what if i didn’t join the army.. what if i hadnt of fallen that night.. what if hydra hadnt gotten to me…the wht ifs haunt me day and night..’’ he said and sighed hevaily. ‘’And at this point im not even sure if wanting to chnage the arm is becaus eof the hydra connection.. or if because i want to feel some resemblance of normalcy again.. look like a normal perosn if and when i got out onto the streets, the arm makes it ahrd to not be noticed.. pointed at.. scared of because they all know what this arm means and who i am’’ he said gently…bucky felt.. stuck.. in this never ending loop and frankly h was sick of it..
Kara grabbed herself a smirnoff cooler from the fridge and sat with Bucky as he spoke. She took a few sips and sighed "Sometimes so do I. I don't even know who my birth parents are, or where the name Romero came from. I was told my mother abandoned me, left me in the trash when I was only a few hours old. I spent three years with apparent adoptive parents who were actually undercover Russian spies, then we were returned to the red room where we were manipulated into believing what we were doing was right for the world, no matter who or how many lives it took" she began. "Yeah our lives could have been different if our circumstances had been, but if hydra hadn't taken you, you would be long dead, while Steve is still here. You two have a second chance to be the friends you were, now that he saved you, you have a second chance at life in general" she explained. "For the record, we're all not normal Bucky, if you're here, you're a freak, severed limbs or otherwise" she lightly teased as she took another few deep sips of her drink. "You could wear a jacket, black gloves, then no one would see your metal arm. Or go with a black metal one if you do change it that's up to you. Frankly I don't care what others think, the world is too weird for their judgmental crap" she added.
Kara grabbed herself a smirnoff cooler from the fridge and sat with Bucky as he spoke. She took a few sips and sighed "Sometimes so do I. I don't even know who my birth parents are, or where the name Romero came from. I was told my mother abandoned me, left me in the trash when I was only a few hours old. I spent three years with apparent adoptive parents who were actually undercover Russian spies, then we were returned to the red room where we were manipulated into believing what we were doing was right for the world, no matter who or how many lives it took" she began. "Yeah our lives could have been different if our circumstances had been, but if hydra hadn't taken you, you would be long dead, while Steve is still here. You two have a second chance to be the friends you were, now that he saved you, you have a second chance at life in general" she explained. "For the record, we're all not normal Bucky, if you're here, you're a freak, severed limbs or otherwise" she lightly teased as she took another few deep sips of her drink. "You could wear a jacket, black gloves, then no one would see your metal arm. Or go with a black metal one if you do change it that's up to you. Frankly I don't care what others think, the world is too weird for their judgmental crap" she added.
(Im just gonna skip cause im a little stuck on what to write)
over the next few days things ahd been fairly calm a round the compund, the weather was stormy and grey. Most of the team was off doing their own things, Clint was back home with his wife and kids. Tony and pepper were off doing their thing, and sam was working and bruce was off doing who knows what. . Natasha and Wanda had decided to have a small movie marathon for the rainy days, making Kara join when they started a new movie they thought shed like. Bucky had attended his therapy session. But it didnt seem to help him much…at least not int he way he really wnated… he wnated clear answers but instead he was just left questioning things even more. That day he was working out as he thought mroe on what he wnated for himself in life. Meanwhile Anna had either been in her room or in her office that was next to Bruce’s lab doing owrk and taking phone calls. That day she decided to take a break and went outside, int he rain and started doing her nromal yoga and meditation routine, she loved the rain, it was the only thing that made her feel human again…
(Im just gonna skip cause im a little stuck on what to write)
over the next few days things ahd been fairly calm a round the compund, the weather was stormy and grey. Most of the team was off doing their own things, Clint was back home with his wife and kids. Tony and pepper were off doing their thing, and sam was working and bruce was off doing who knows what. . Natasha and Wanda had decided to have a small movie marathon for the rainy days, making Kara join when they started a new movie they thought shed like. Bucky had attended his therapy session. But it didnt seem to help him much…at least not int he way he really wnated… he wnated clear answers but instead he was just left questioning things even more. That day he was working out as he thought mroe on what he wnated for himself in life. Meanwhile Anna had either been in her room or in her office that was next to Bruce’s lab doing owrk and taking phone calls. That day she decided to take a break and went outside, int he rain and started doing her nromal yoga and meditation routine, she loved the rain, it was the only thing that made her feel human again…
Steve had been out for a run before the rain hit, by the time he got back to the compound he was soaked to the bone, not that it entirely bothered him either. As he came around to the front, Steve smiled with a small huff to himself as he saw Anna sitting in the rain. "I know you said you loved the rain, but thankfully vampires don't get sick right?" He teased at Anna. "Everything okay?" Steve asked her as he ran a hand back through his short soaked hair.
Kara had been having a rough day, she had gone to Anastasia's oasis and had been in there all morning but something seemed off, like it didn't work. So she'd gone Hulk's room and taken her anger out, again her knuckles that had begun healing were now raw and bleeding all over again. The pain numbing her hands to a point but she didn't overly care. Kara sat in the adjacent room from the gym, it was mostly padded floors for combat training but there was glass in between. Kara sat on a bench as tears rolled down her face, her hands swollen, sore and shaky but she still gripped them into fists and blood dripped out as she cried.
Steve had been out for a run before the rain hit, by the time he got back to the compound he was soaked to the bone, not that it entirely bothered him either. As he came around to the front, Steve smiled with a small huff to himself as he saw Anna sitting in the rain. "I know you said you loved the rain, but thankfully vampires don't get sick right?" He teased at Anna. "Everything okay?" Steve asked her as he ran a hand back through his short soaked hair.
Kara had been having a rough day, she had gone to Anastasia's oasis and had been in there all morning but something seemed off, like it didn't work. So she'd gone Hulk's room and taken her anger out, again her knuckles that had begun healing were now raw and bleeding all over again. The pain numbing her hands to a point but she didn't overly care. Kara sat in the adjacent room from the gym, it was mostly padded floors for combat training but there was glass in between. Kara sat on a bench as tears rolled down her face, her hands swollen, sore and shaky but she still gripped them into fists and blood dripped out as she cried.
Anna took abreath in and out ater hearing steve ‘’hmm? Yes is all well. Taking some time away from my work to relax my mind. And no vampires can not become sick unless something is laced with vervain, an old flower thats hard to find now’’ sh said gently befre standing up ‘’was your run good?’’ She asked as she gathered her things and rang out her very long hair. She had never cut it before, so it was fairly long, most of the time it was braided to stay out of er way. But that day she ahd left it down.letting it fall down her body till it reached mid waist. The two walked inside together and she handed steve an extra towel, she always kept them near by when rain came aorund. ‘’Here’’ she siad and handed him a dark black towel. ‘’Return it whenever you can’’ she said wth a shrug as he patted herself a bit to dry off before going to change.
Bucky was coming down fromt he work out room, which wasnt to far formt he room bruce and Kara sometimes used. He was looking down at his phone, logging his owrk out time before looking up again and seeing Kara there, noting the blood he walked over toher ‘’what did you do o your hands?’’ He asked her and knealt down infornt of her, seeing the look on her face he sighed and made her stand up up befre picking her up bridal style an taking her to his room, he had a wide supply of medical things in his room. He walked past Natasha,Wanda, Steve and Anna, and noticed Anna stopping Nat from doing anything,giving her a soft nod he kept wlaking without saying anything. He had learned that sometimes people just need silence.
Anna took abreath in and out ater hearing steve ‘’hmm? Yes is all well. Taking some time away from my work to relax my mind. And no vampires can not become sick unless something is laced with vervain, an old flower thats hard to find now’’ sh said gently befre standing up ‘’was your run good?’’ She asked as she gathered her things and rang out her very long hair. She had never cut it before, so it was fairly long, most of the time it was braided to stay out of er way. But that day she ahd left it down.letting it fall down her body till it reached mid waist. The two walked inside together and she handed steve an extra towel, she always kept them near by when rain came aorund. ‘’Here’’ she siad and handed him a dark black towel. ‘’Return it whenever you can’’ she said wth a shrug as he patted herself a bit to dry off before going to change.
Bucky was coming down fromt he work out room, which wasnt to far formt he room bruce and Kara sometimes used. He was looking down at his phone, logging his owrk out time before looking up again and seeing Kara there, noting the blood he walked over toher ‘’what did you do o your hands?’’ He asked her and knealt down infornt of her, seeing the look on her face he sighed and made her stand up up befre picking her up bridal style an taking her to his room, he had a wide supply of medical things in his room. He walked past Natasha,Wanda, Steve and Anna, and noticed Anna stopping Nat from doing anything,giving her a soft nod he kept wlaking without saying anything. He had learned that sometimes people just need silence.
Steve chuckled softly with a shrug "It was alright I guess. I got used to taking on Sam lately but he ditched me this morning to check in at the VA in Washington for the veterans he helps out" Steve explained as they headed back inside, Steve took the towel and thanked Ana as he dried off his face and hair, pausing as he saw Bucky carrying Kara off upstairs. "Nat, she'll be okay" Steve told the red head as Ana stopped her from going after the former winter soldier and her sister.
Kara sat there shakily, the pain was dull and numb, more than usual and making her chilly from shock in her body. When she heard a voice, Kara's tear filled face lifted and looked at Bucky. "I...I couldn't make it stop..." she sobbed shakily just before he picked her up. Kara for the first time found solace in that place, being held, more specifically by Bucky himself gave her an unusual sense of calm. She turned her face towards his chest as they passed the others, not wanting her sister to see much if she could help it.
Steve chuckled softly with a shrug "It was alright I guess. I got used to taking on Sam lately but he ditched me this morning to check in at the VA in Washington for the veterans he helps out" Steve explained as they headed back inside, Steve took the towel and thanked Ana as he dried off his face and hair, pausing as he saw Bucky carrying Kara off upstairs. "Nat, she'll be okay" Steve told the red head as Ana stopped her from going after the former winter soldier and her sister.
Kara sat there shakily, the pain was dull and numb, more than usual and making her chilly from shock in her body. When she heard a voice, Kara's tear filled face lifted and looked at Bucky. "I...I couldn't make it stop..." she sobbed shakily just before he picked her up. Kara for the first time found solace in that place, being held, more specifically by Bucky himself gave her an unusual sense of calm. She turned her face towards his chest as they passed the others, not wanting her sister to see much if she could help it.
‘’She allwoed the rag to take over..almost like she couldn’t stop it this time… I’ll have to work mroe with her to calm her mind…her hands are bloody and Bucky is worried for her.’’ Anna said, As her eyes stayed steady on the hallway bucky and Kara went down. ‘’She’ll be okay though?’’ Nat asked ‘’yes. She’ll be okay. James will look after her. And shell come to you when she is ready. I’ll work with her to help calm the rage. It’ll take work. But sh wll move past the rage.’’ Anna said gently and nat nodded before sighing and goin to suit down again. Anna released her own sigh/hum. Would like to have lunch with me?’’ She randomly asked steve and looked at him with a clam look.
Meanwhile bucky didnt say anything as he broguht Kara into his room. There wasnt much in it,closet was only half full. There were books here nd there,cds and movies but that was it, his bathroom was filled with wat he needed and extras just in case.. he had still the mentality to keep things well organized. Something he retained from his military days. He set Kara down on his bed gently and walked ot his bathroom a nd grabbed a medical kit and came back, pulling up his desk chair to sit infront of Kara as. He started to tend to her hands ‘’you know.. if you ask Anna for help. She will and can help you.. shes helped me a lot… not by saying anything.. just by being there for every therapy session..just the thoguht of having someone in your corner.. helps’’he siad gently ‘’the rage you feel.. it has to stem from something.. i may not know what.. but.. i do know.. that if you let it take over like that… you’ll ended up hurting more than just your hands…what happened today?” Bucky said gently and asked as he cleaned up her hands.
‘’She allwoed the rag to take over..almost like she couldn’t stop it this time… I’ll have to work mroe with her to calm her mind…her hands are bloody and Bucky is worried for her.’’ Anna said, As her eyes stayed steady on the hallway bucky and Kara went down. ‘’She’ll be okay though?’’ Nat asked ‘’yes. She’ll be okay. James will look after her. And shell come to you when she is ready. I’ll work with her to help calm the rage. It’ll take work. But sh wll move past the rage.’’ Anna said gently and nat nodded before sighing and goin to suit down again. Anna released her own sigh/hum. Would like to have lunch with me?’’ She randomly asked steve and looked at him with a clam look.
Meanwhile bucky didnt say anything as he broguht Kara into his room. There wasnt much in it,closet was only half full. There were books here nd there,cds and movies but that was it, his bathroom was filled with wat he needed and extras just in case.. he had still the mentality to keep things well organized. Something he retained from his military days. He set Kara down on his bed gently and walked ot his bathroom a nd grabbed a medical kit and came back, pulling up his desk chair to sit infront of Kara as. He started to tend to her hands ‘’you know.. if you ask Anna for help. She will and can help you.. shes helped me a lot… not by saying anything.. just by being there for every therapy session..just the thoguht of having someone in your corner.. helps’’he siad gently ‘’the rage you feel.. it has to stem from something.. i may not know what.. but.. i do know.. that if you let it take over like that… you’ll ended up hurting more than just your hands…what happened today?” Bucky said gently and asked as he cleaned up her hands.
Kara was silent as Bucky carried her to his room, her body didn't shake so much but her hands were a bit, they were still red, swollen and her knuckles bloody with fresh wounds. Kara let out a shaky breath and shook her head. "I've tried therapy, it doesn't help. This morning I went to her oasis, I....I was there for hours but it didn't seem to help, so I went into Hulk's room..." she told him softly as fresh tears dripped from her eyes and she gently pressed them shut. "I dont know where it comes from, therapy hasn't even been able to help me figure that out. I'm terrified that one day I'm going to accidentally hurt someone because of my fits..." she added. "I just want to feel something, anything else but like this..." Kara whispered as she lifted her head a bit and looked at Bucky, now realizing how close they were.
Steve let out a soft breath "Nat relax, Bucky is recovering himself and he's never done something like this since I rescued him. Honestly maybe they can help each other" Steve commented. "What do you mean?" Wanda asked. "Bucky's memory still has alot of empty holes, what hydra did to him hasn't fully healed, mentally. He's been struggling with it ever since I got him out and slowly trying to make progress. Now that he's found someone else he can maybe relate to like Kara, it'll help him, and maybe...hopefully her as well" Steve tried to explain.
Kara was silent as Bucky carried her to his room, her body didn't shake so much but her hands were a bit, they were still red, swollen and her knuckles bloody with fresh wounds. Kara let out a shaky breath and shook her head. "I've tried therapy, it doesn't help. This morning I went to her oasis, I....I was there for hours but it didn't seem to help, so I went into Hulk's room..." she told him softly as fresh tears dripped from her eyes and she gently pressed them shut. "I dont know where it comes from, therapy hasn't even been able to help me figure that out. I'm terrified that one day I'm going to accidentally hurt someone because of my fits..." she added. "I just want to feel something, anything else but like this..." Kara whispered as she lifted her head a bit and looked at Bucky, now realizing how close they were.
Steve let out a soft breath "Nat relax, Bucky is recovering himself and he's never done something like this since I rescued him. Honestly maybe they can help each other" Steve commented. "What do you mean?" Wanda asked. "Bucky's memory still has alot of empty holes, what hydra did to him hasn't fully healed, mentally. He's been struggling with it ever since I got him out and slowly trying to make progress. Now that he's found someone else he can maybe relate to like Kara, it'll help him, and maybe...hopefully her as well" Steve tried to explain.
