H ELLO.

Oh hello. Hello my D E A R E S T friends.

WHY YES              -     you.

Y O U.

How nice it is to EAT you

--DID I saythat!?                                                                  

Oh no.

N0  No n0 NO no.

NICE TO MEET YOU. 

                      --(Yes.)

B EAN VLADIMIR P.
 
ESQUIRE.

 ( Beanie Baby | JellyBean |  Felicia )

Bean is a  SIR that is described by just about

no one as being a gentle and kind soul.

Generally standing at 4 feet at the shoulder, the beast is ultimately a mass of a black shadow-like substance. While solid, a form is hard to make out immediately without movement. What is visible are s o u l l e s s eyes that stare grumpily without blinking, matching a toothy grin of needle-like teeth perfect for ripping the seams of the s o c k s the creature devours. His body can change its size depending on needs, but his max weight of 9,000lbs does not change regardless. 

--G r a v it y affects the beast in odd ways.
 
He seems to choose when.

Bean is quite a DANGEROUS fellow to many, including those that have not paid rent in the properties that he leases, anyone willing to complain about his accountant work, those that make direct eye contact for longer than 3.5 seconds, anyone who turns on the WRETCHED television screen, and most of all Mr. Noodles, his arch-nemesis.

--Bean is missing his be l o v ed right wing.
He lost it during a game of poker against Mr. Noodles.

To those that Bean has BEFRIENDED, you are in luck, or most certainly doomed. Not only do you keep your life until he randomly snaps one day and gobbles you like a wood chipper, you now have a shadow. Someone to do your taxes. And most of all, plenty of unwanted company that occasionally makes loud shrieking noises. Do you know how to make HOT CHOCOLATE? It is now time to learn.

B ean is a well-established ACCOUNTANT. With the use of his s p i n d l y front arms often hidden away in his fluff. Not only will he re-finance your house and file your taxes, but he will also deliver them before they get EATEN. Contact him today via shouting to hear about his e x cl u s i ve offers.

LIKES

MR. TOGER, his brother   |   Fun-patterned socks (left)   |   Ballpoint pens (*clicky clicky*)

Tax Season   |   Staring at people   |   Visiting the elderly

DISLIKES

Mr. Noodles the Canoodler   |   Waterparks   |   TV static

Cars that honk   |   The price of milk at the store

F U N FA C T S

                                                 --(Fun fun fun)

Bean's childhood dream was to become a professional go-kart driver.

His part-time job includes being Agnes' esteemed imaginary friend.

His favorite drink is hot chocolate. His favorite alcoholic drink is maple syrup.

Bean's mother's name is Laura, and she is a manatee.

Do not let Bean around your cats.