Many view immortality as the ultimate blessing. Eternal life among their peers, never having to worry about death ever again. To me, immortality started out as a blessing. The opportunity to observe the creation and growth of innumerable civilizations, but with growth, there’s also destruction and loss.

In my 14 Billion years of existence, I have witnessed the rise and fall of so many civilizations that I began to see my immortality as a curse. I would interact with the populace of each civilization, learn about their histories, their people, and their beliefs. I made many friends among the scholars, historians, and even people in a position of power. I documented technological and medical advances, even learned about what drove these people to do what they did.

In the end, it was futile. For them, the term “Everything must come to an end” was a harsh truth, something they knew was inevitable. But how do you explain to them that you… are an exception to that term? That you’d last long past their lifetimes, past the end of the Universe? I’ve watched my scholarly friends get slaughtered because their documentations went against the ruling of their governments, historians who were ostracized and ridiculed until death because their findings didn’t match the beliefs of the ruling religious powers, and those in power who did their best to do good for their people only to be murdered during an unnecessary revolution.

I have witnessed loss upon loss, losing friends left and right due to wars or other agendas. My library is now full of ghosts, lined with hundreds of millions of books, each documenting the lives of these civilizations before they wiped themselves out. There is one shelf, I keep it in my office. The shelf is lined with books written by those I called friends, with some of the books even being written to me as a gift. These gifts are the ones that I cherish the most. They remind me, that even in worlds that seems plagued by darkness and cruelty, greed and malice, pride and prejudices, there are still those with good hearts.

These reminders are the only thing that have kept me from going back to those worlds, to imbue their people with lusts on so many levels that it causes chaos. They stop me from committing genocide. My friends died because they went against their governments beliefs or their people believed that they were not doing right by them, even when they were trying their best.

I have witnessed…. So much loss. My heart aches for those who showed me kindness, who showed me love, and showed me compassion. Those who became my immediate friends, and almost family. There is one rule that we Celestials inherently know, we were never told, but we know to follow it. We can interact with the people, we can support their endeavors, but we must never influence their growth aside from the vice or virtue we were given.

If I had the choice, the opportunity… I would make those who murdered my friends suffer like they had suffered. To show them that what they are doing is not the way to do it. But that, would be going down the path of a dictator, and with my abilities, impersonating godhood. So, I must live with the innumerable number of memories of my dead friends for eternity. This, is my curse.